Latest News From Our Blog

333. Celebrating God’s Grace, Miraculous Manna

By julie

God’s grace and healing power are so present in our world today! Enjoy this reading of “Miraculous Manna” by Rusanne Carole from Voice of Truth.

*****

I lay in a hospital bed only a couple of kilometers from my home, but it felt like I was a world away – alone with my thoughts, fears, and yes, so many soul churning and burning questions.  

So many looming questions sneaking up like an unexpected visitor at the front door of my heart and mind!

And with the battle of words in my head – more questions, more concerns, more potential for my mind to go to places I did not wish it to go! Wandering worry came against me like a thunderous cloud of darkness, tempting me to receive or reject the spewed false claims.

But I believed God was saying to me, “Rusanne, you have known me well now for a time and learned much. What would I ask you to do if I were sitting right here with you in this hospital room?” 

I knew He was saying, “I am here. I will never leave you. We will walk through this together.” His great, mighty love brought me the comfort I was longing for and spoke to the worry and fret-filled enemy of fear. Additionally, the Holy Spirit’s boldness was swelling up deep inside my heart. His very presence was preparing me to witness to those around me. Here I was, lying in a hospital bed yet still on mission for the cause and glory of Christ.

It began August 11, 2020 when, like most mornings, I woke early to make my coffee and sneak back to bed to have my quiet time before my boys woke up. But that morning was different. I could not walk to the kitchen. My legs felt weighted down like someone was pulling me down through the polished concrete floor, and the pain in the lower right side of my abdomen took my breath away. I slowly made it back to my bed and, when I lay on my left side, the pain eventually subsided enough to allow me to try again. I attempted this short walk from the bedroom to the kitchen five times. Each time with no success.

It was 4 am, in the spring in Queensland, Australia, just the right time for the sun and the birds to present themselves as if to say, “Wake up and rise with us! Another day awaits!” 

I waited until 5:50 am and then rang my son to come to my room. Two of my four sons live at home with me, and the other two older boys live locally.  I teasingly said to him, “I don’t want to worry you, but I am not well, and I need you to make your first call to 000 for an ambulance.” Suddenly, he was in front of me as if he had catapulted from his room to mine. I also asked him to ring the carer that comes to assist me in supporting my son to get ready for school. He has special needs and requires assistance with day-to-day tasks. I knew I wasn’t going into work that day, but that I would be going to a hospital. 

I was finally able to walk to the ambulance waiting in my driveway after several attempts at “sucking the green whistle” – taking the pain medication that the ambulance driver provided. Once in the back of the ambulance, I remember being asked where I wanted to go.  I replied, “Hawaii.”  They chuckled and said, “No, what hospital?” 

And immediately I knew I had a choice to make, but I also knew God was right there with me. I have beautiful friends here in the land I chose to move to over twenty years ago, but I do not have any family other than my children. I am a single mother raising two boys and, whenever I have been unwell, the enemy has taken advantage and attempted to do his dirtiest work in my life, each time trying to place me in a state of fear and despair. I was familiar with the enemy’s tactics and schemes, and knew that I must always be on alert and ready for his surprise attacks and be adorned in God’s armour and have my total focus on Him. I knew this, but it is an entirely different thing to practice it – especially when extreme waves of pain are coming at you full force like a train of testing and trial. Focus was needed. Focus on Jesus. But the battle began in my mind yet again.

 

Worry, fret, and fear lured me into their cycles of destruction. Arrows flying straight into my heart.

Who will look after my boys if I can’t?

What if something happens to me?

No one can look after my sons like I can, especially my son who requires care for all of his needs.

Lord, please let me be ok.

 

I was first misdiagnosed with kidney stones. Then, two days later, my appendix was removed. And yet my pain persisted.  An MRI was scheduled. All the while, unrelenting circles of confusion afflicted my heart and mind.

 

When I was in the tunnel of the MRI machine, I found it very difficult to breathe and relax. I was on a lot of pain medication, which made me feel very frightened and panicked. While I was lying there, a vision landed in my mind. I closed my eyes and saw purple wings enclosing me, rather than the beige walls that sloped around me eating me up with the loud, clanking, beating sound of the MRI machine. The wings reminded me of God’s presence and protection. Immediately the Lord brought my mind to Psalm 91:4 “Lord, you will cover me with Your feathers. Under Your wings I find my refuge. Your faithfulness will be my shield and protection.” 

Then the contrary words were spoken by the doctor, “You have a mass and we will phone the oncologist.” 

It was as if I was thrust by force off the rock of Christ. I knew I had to jump back on and gather myself. I had a choice right then and there – allow my mind, heart, and body to fall off the rock into a sea of distress and despair; or fight to stand again by the power of His Holy Spirit, on His rock. He was calling me to plant my feet back on His rock of refuge, to be soothed and protected by His strength. It was there that He reminded me He had carried me through so much in the past eleven years – ever since I had given my life to Him.

 

There was a piercing scream inside of me that only I could hear. Armed by His power, I sensed the Lord’s soul-piercing hope. “No! This is not how it ends! The enemy had come again to kill, steal and destroy, but my God and I say No!” 

After eleven days in the hospital, I was discharged. The doctors wanted me to have time to recover from the surgery before I would have another MRI to determine if the tumour had changed at all in size. After that there would be an appointment to discuss the next steps of my treatment, but that treatment would definitely include a biopsy. My doctor, the fifth one who looked after me in my eleven days in the hospital, said the diagnosis was a one in one million, and the mass was located in my hip/buttocks area. My beautiful pastor and friend came to visit and anoint me with oil. As we visited and ate green apples with peanut butter and drank peppermint tea, he jokingly said, “I always knew you were one in a million and a pain in the butt!”  To find laughter in a time such as this was medicine for my soul, and I was so thankful to have him with me praying for healing. I was saved in his little Uniting Church on December 13th, 2009.  Another story for another time.

I returned home. I had never seen the results or pictures from the MRI.  

One day, God gave me an impression of a white snowball melting in the snow. By His presence, I knew. I began telling everyone that my tumour was gone, including the surgeon that I had my follow up visit with that operated and removed my appendix.  He kind of brushed it off, and asked me to let the doctor contact him after the biopsy was scheduled and the results were in. Because he was a teaching doctor at the university, he was very curious about the diagnosis and how we would proceed.

I had many prayer warriors and friends fighting for me in combat prayer. I was so grateful for the many friends that prayed, phoned, and dropped food at my home for my boys.  It was a real witness of the love and support of the body of Christ in time of need.  

 

Sometime after the revelation with the Lord, my beautiful friend and sister in Christ, Lynne, phoned to check on me.  She said she had been praying for me and God prompted her to paint. During our conversation she shared and sent a picture of the purple wings she had painted. These were the SAME purple wings God had given me a vision of the day I was having the MRI. We both took the time to praise and thank God, and I had confirmation in my heart that God had this. 

 

This painting that linked us at that moment is the beautiful and anointed painting that God placed on the cover of the first edition of “Voice of Truth” in January 2021.  Isn’t our God amazing how He weaves and orchestrates beauty and connections in a tapestry of love and testimony for those who love, seek and serve Him?

The time came for the follow up MRI and the next appointment with the surgeon. The young man who greeted me at the clinic to conduct the test was named Adam. I giggled at this. I often experience God’s sense of humour present in a situation. When he introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Adam,” I think I even replied laughing, “Of course it is!” He kept sliding me in and out of the machine, time after time.  He finally asked about the diagnosis and inquired if I was given any medicine, because he couldn’t find anything! 

This time I had taken a sleeping mask to place over my eyes to help me keep my eyes closed, which would, hopefully, help me stay relaxed.  As he slid me into the machine one more time after sharing the news he could not find any mass, the soft fabric on the mask caught the tears that flowed from my eyes in gratitude that the snowball (tumour) had actually melted. It had melted in the mighty Hand of God. He did what no man ever could, He had miraculously healed me.

The following day I sat in my doctor’s office. The doctor sat at his desk in front of his laptop, while I leaned across his desk with my chin in my hands watching him flip from the results taken in the hospital to those from the previous day’s test. He kept pushing the computer buttons with the tip of his bright yellow pencil and, looking at me above the rim of his silver framed glasses then looking at the computer, saying, “this is unexplainable!” 

I spoke with God-given confidence, “It is explainable. It is the power of prayer, and God has healed me.”

You see my friend, this topic of healing was near and dear to my heart, for to this very day as I write this, I am awaiting God to heal my son. God had me name my precious boy Christian, even before I became a Christian. And just months prior, I had been studying the topic of healing.

I had asked God, “Lord, show me a healing!” I had no idea it would be me.  

To those of you reading this, I don’t have all the answers, but God does. I don’t know why He healed me and removed the tumour, but I am grateful that He did. He is a loving God and wants the best for all of His children. I have never been good at waiting. But God has shown me it is all in His way, His timing, in His grace and goodness. 

 

I’m still believing in healing for my son.

I’m still believing in all He has for me and my family and friends…and humanity.

I’m still believing in Jesus who came to save and who prepares an eternal home for His children.

I’m still believing in God’s ways that protect me. And I’m still believing that He loves me and He loves you.

I’m still believing…I pray you are too! 

 

And for those who have lost loved ones to death and disease, none of us can wholly comprehend the faithful and just plans of God, or why we hear of some being healed and others not. I am praying that in those moments of the lack of our earthly understanding, God’s love and provision will meet you here on this earth giving you strength to continue running to Him, no matter the loss and cost. I am trusting that in heaven one day we will understand God’s perfect timing, and we will all experience the comfort of God himself wiping every tear from our face.