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349. Empowering Lives With Purpose, Interview with Brandie Reader – Part I

By julie

Brandie Reader is a 22-year-old with a powerful story of a broken life shattered into a million pieces. The incredible work God is doing to restore her with His healing love will bring unspeakable joy to your soul.      You’ll hear the battle of lies Brandie has dealt with and overcome because of God’s unfailing promises of truth. Brandie shares that this transparent story isn’t just for her but hopes to encourage others with the hope and miracle of God which He brought to her precisely when she needed it. Brandie titled this 2 part podcast: “Hope Is Colorful, Overcoming Darkness With Light”   *******

Kimberly Hobbs   Welcome to Empowering Lives With Purpose. And I’m your host, Kimberly Hobbs, I’m the founder of Women World Leaders. And it’s my privilege to welcome our guest today, Brandie Reader, welcome, Brandie.

Brandie Reader   Hi, I’m so excited to be here with you today.

Kimberly Hobbs   We’re so excited to have you she is a young, delightful precious woman of God. And it’s just such an honor to be able to interview you today brandy and, and just hear about this amazing story that God has given to you, ladies, we are all about sharing here and just being open together and transparent with the unbelievable God’s stories that he has given to some of us. And we all have a story, right? And how we get through our lives is what we pray that you will have, which is a god story in your life. And we know that brandy has an amazing God story that he’s given to her. And one of the scriptures I love to share on this podcast is they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb. And by the word of their testimony, that’s revelation 1211. And they overcame him which is the enemy by sharing by sharing by the word of their testimony. So there is power in what we do through the power of the Holy Spirit as He leads and guides us to share these unbelievable stories. So it is our hope today that through listening to brandy share about her past and some of what she’s had to walk through and endure, that you might be able to relate with her. And something inside of you is going to be stirred. And we pray that it’s hope and inspiration as God moves and speaks to you through this most amazing story. And we are going to do it in two parts, because it’s pretty intense. Brandy has a lot that she’d like to share with you today. And we just don’t want to rush through anything because there’s so much amazing what God has done in her life through through this testimony. So we believe that all of you ladies have a purpose. And so we hope that you will maybe find that purpose through listening through these podcasts each week. So a little bit about brandy. Brandy is 22 years old, and she’s from West Palm Beach, Florida. And I love it that she’s so close to me. And I got to hear her speak and I was so moved by what I heard. And I felt God just nudging me to go talk to her and I kept praying Well, God, I mean, this church was packed with people, how am I gonna ever find her? And God led us to the bathroom. We both come out of the styles together. And there she was. And I just blurted out really quick, like, Brandy, you know, like, I just felt you know that that nudge to say, Would you be willing to share with you know, women were leaders. And what’s really interesting is, she said, you know, she was going to pray about it too. And I didn’t hear from her didn’t hear from her. And somebody gave her a tears to triumph book. And I don’t know who that person was because I asked her the name. But through in the world leaders we do these amazing anthologies with women who share their stories, and somebody placed this book tears to triumph in brandies hand and to her it was a confirmation that she was supposed to do this podcast today. So we are praying that it blesses you. Brandy goes to bow down church, and that’s where she was speaking and I heard her testimony. She did a program through her church called 516 where she learned how to truly be a disciple of Christ, and how the Lord changed her life. Brandi is passionate about God healing deliverance and prayer. And she aspires to bring people closer to God and healing through her story and I love that. And I had asked her what do you think would be a good title for what we’re going to share about today brandy and she said she came back with hope is colorful, overcoming darkness with light and I love that because now she is wearing color and it’s color that Jesus has brought into her life. And brandy learned the meaning of God breathing life into her life and she is a daughter of have the most high God. And she handed her pain to Jesus. But he had to tear down to build up. And brandy talks about this in her testimony how he had to pull up to plant. And going through it was how. But Brandi loves God more than she ever has loved him in her life. And now she’s ready to share about the hell she went through to get where she is today. So brandy, can you take us back and share some of your past so we know where you came from?

Brandie Reader   Yes, definitely. So my mom, I have two older sisters. And my mom got pregnant with me. She was not expecting to get pregnant with me. My biological dad, he’s not in my life. But they met kind of in a club one night, and I happen. So my mum was young, I don’t believe she was ready to have kids. So there was a lot of just feelings of reduction at a young age, you know, I have learned that the things you speak over yourself, even when you’re pregnant, goes into that baby. And so from the time at birth, they were just rejection being spoken over me. And so my mom, she lost her rights when I was two for abandonment and neglect. And my biological dad gave him the right to a when I was two because he was not ready for children. And so I was moved my two older sisters, they shared the same dad, I DCF removed me into their home because they didn’t want to be split up. And I just remember feeling as a child, so alone, because my sisters were full sisters, they were my half sisters. They had a better relationship. And my stepdad it just seemed like there was a lot of anger or Yes, not love for me. And so I grew up without a mom and then with a stepdad who really didn’t want me. And so starting off, it was a lot of verbal abuse. But then as I grew up returning to physical abuse, and that could range from calling me a fat ESS to physically putting his hands on me and so a lot of insecurity at a young age about myself how I looked. But one of the memories I often share that I remember, an example of the abuse was I was eating macaroni at the dinner table one time, and I remember at the dinner table, we couldn’t talk and if we talked, an ashtray would be thrown out of our head, remote, anything you could think of would just get thrown at us. But one day, I was at a dinner table eating and I did not like the macaroni and I threw it up and I was forced to eat it. And so just abuse of all kinds. And later on in life, I will find out that I was sexually abused as well. And so just growing up feeling so alone, I didn’t live in a Christian household and my stepdad was actually anti God. Anything God he was against. And so I was never really exposed to face or God. But as I grew up still, you know, just dealing with rejection, abandonment and feeling like, honestly, I think I often just felt like I’d be better off dead like no one wants me. No one cares about me. No one loves me. And so I didn’t even really know what love was. And as I walked through a lot of healing, I was able, I’ve been able to identify that Mike concept of love was actually very for sorted. And so as I grew up, I remember in middle school, there’s a teacher who introduced me to a youth group. And I started going to that youth group and just remember feeling at home, and like, I don’t know what it is about this place, but like I just feel at home. And I was sponsored to go to summer camp when summer and I met the Lord and it changed my life. You know, I think people sometimes share about how their relationship first becoming a Christian. It’s kind of a slow process. For me. It was this quick process, I was still on fire for the Lord. But I was able to see that as I grew closer to the Lord and I met the Lord. The abuse got worse at home. And I’m able to see now that it was the Holy Spirit inside of me and me working in my stepdad. And there was just this clash, you know. And so the abuse got worse. And there’s this one day where, you know, I just kind of felt like I had the Lord. But, you know, I was going to church on Sunday, I was reading my scripture, I was praying, but I just still felt like there’s hopelessness. And I remember, there’s this one night that it just kind of all got the best of me and this darkness really just be in the cloud me. And we had this huge bottle of aspirin at the house I was with with my stepdad. And I started taking the pills and just chewing up these white aspirin pills and laying on the floor and outs crying, and I’m begging the Lord to forgive me, like we’re Forgive me, for what I just said, and my sister who was visiting at that time, open the door, and she saw me saw the empty bottle on the ground and called 911. And I was rushed to the hospital. And I actually remember while I was in the hospital, they gave me something for me to pair up, but I had already digested the pills, that none of the pills were coming up until they had to put a tube down my nose and pump my stomach to get the aspirin out. And I remember just thinking like, I’m dying, you know, and remembering like, my stepdad was so angry at me. And just thinking like, right now I need to know that I’m loved. But just there’s this anger towards me and so discontinued to confirm the belief that I wasn’t wanted to convert the belief that no one cared. And so coming out of the overdose, I was able to realize that, you know, I had accepted God on my heart. But I didn’t know that a relationship was possible like that. He actually, I can actually talk to him. And he talks to me, like I was doing all the right things, going to church reading my Bible, but I didn’t really have that relationship aspect. And so once I was able to identify that it’s like, again, my relationship with the Lord just took off. But again, there are still about reductions, that abandonment. And so there was one day that things were really bad at home. And it was like, to the point where the only place I could go to a school, like I’d be locked in my bedroom, no food to eat, you know, just pure like neglect and abandonment. And I had asked to go to church and my stepdad refused to let me go to church. But I knew that I, I was such in a dark place that I needed community, like I needed people to come around me and encouraged me and give me some hope. And so he left for work that morning, and I left for church. And I laughed, because that was like, the most disobedient thing I’ve done in my life was leave for church when I wasn’t supposed to. So I went to church that morning. And when I went to lunch with some ladies from my church afterwards, and he was calling my phone and cussing me out and told me that he’s calling the cops. And I came back to the house after church, and he had called the police on me and told them that I hadn’t run away. And I talked to the police. And they’re like, We know you’re a good girl, like, we know that. You’re doing dual enrollment, like you’re doing the right things, like just be a good girl. And so to their mind, I was just being a bad girl. They didn’t really know what was truly going on. And so I went inside the house, and he came to my bedroom. And he said, Give me your phone. And I refuse because I know for me, my phone was my only source of protection. And he would leave the room and I pull up my devotional and I start reading because I knew like, the Lord was all that I had, you know, I just My Spirit knew that something wasn’t right. You know, support my devotional, he comes back into the room, give me your phone, and refusing and he says to me, if I come into this room again, it’s not going to be pretty. Here’s the room, he comes into the room a third time, give me your phone, and I shake my head, I don’t have my phone. He starts be like punching the wall like ripping stuff off of my wall. Come in a flip over then that says that I’m on a mattress on the floor, flips over the mattress and starts putting his weight on me and like suffocating me, and I’m terrified and finally he gets off the mattress and he does if I come in here again and you don’t give me your phone. It’s not going to be good. And so as soon as he left the room, my bedroom was in a place where like it was just right across From the front door, and I knew that if I did not leave that room, he was going to kill me, you know, for he was going to beat me to pulp. And so I run up my room out the front door. Next thing I know, I look behind me and he’s running behind me, and he catches up to me. He’s on top of me. And I’m fighting, like trying to get him off of me rolling around in the grass, like trying to wiggle my way out. And then finally he gets on top of me, and he puts his hands on my throat. And he says, This is what you wanted. You want me to go to jail, this is what you wanted. And I’m laying down in this grass. And I’m like, Lord, this is it. You know, this is the end, like, he’s going to kill me, I’m gonna die today. And I know, this was only the word, he took his hands off of my throat. And he got up. And he got up and I ran to liquor store, and I called the police. And, you know, this was such a God thing, because it was the same police who had showed up earlier that day when he said I had to run away. And I was in the same outfit. And so they were able to see the before and after wear it with grass stains all over my pants and our marks on my hands and on my, on my throat. Wow. So they saw this Yes, was called. And then I was placed into another family’s house, which I had kind of already had a relationship with. And, you know, when this happened, you know, I was going through a lot of PTSD from this. I was because I still lived in the same town. And a restraining order had been given but had this fear of like, is he gonna come find me and told me is he gonna see me in public, he had been arrested. But just as Pharaoh who took me but given in the midst of the fear, there’s just this like excitement because I’m like, Wow, Lord, like, I’ve been praying for so long for family, and I finally received this family. And you know, they were going to adopt me, but DCF had to close the case, too soon. So they weren’t able to adopt me. But I’m like, Yay, I finally have a family. And then I was moved to another home. And it just devastated me because, and so on. In Psalms, it says he puts the lonely in families. And I was like, how can that be true, you know, you have put me in a family. And then I was moved, you know. And so I knew at this moment is when I started to mistrust the Lord. I didn’t trust that his plans were good. I didn’t trust that. I didn’t trust His word and that it was true. So I’m moving to the next family. And when I moved to them, I remember telling the Lord like, Lord, if I move again, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to survive it, like the pain was just so much. And it just confirmed those beliefs that no one wanted me, no one cared, and then I’d be better off dead. So then when I moved to the spirit home, I think that I was just so heartbroken that even if they did love me, I couldn’t have received it because I was so broken by what had happened to me that I like, my eyes were just like, all I could see was people didn’t want me people didn’t care.

Kimberly Hobbs   And that’s where you started believing the lies. And the battle of the lies came in brandy. And just like our audience, there’s I know there’s women out there right now that are living your story, Brandy, or they have lived your story, and they continue battling those lies. So this story isn’t just your story. And so continue on because there’s so much more but these battles of lies that the enemy was feeding you are horrific. And…

Brandie Reader   Yeah, the reality is, is when you believe life for so long, they were my truth. Like they were my truth. No one wanted me it just to me, it just wasn’t a lie. This became my truth. And so this family, they had given me their last name. And I’m like, wow, this is so amazing. Because I remember feeling like with my stuff that I had given, I had been given his last name at birth, and I just felt so much shame because I’m like, have a last name of this man who just who hates me? And then I received a new last name and then I moved into a new home I’m like, What in the world with I finally received this gift and then now I carry this name of like, another family, you know, and so just, I was there’s so much time meant so many lies that I, the enemy had just made truth in my life that I honestly didn’t know what love was. And so I moved into this new family’s house. And, you know, that was a gift from the Lord, because they just created this space for me to heal. And I remember, I started going to counseling, and that’s when I found out I had been sexually abused. And it devastated me because I’m like, How could How could this you know what I was like, Lord, anything you can think of happened to me. And now this. And I remember coming home one day after a counseling session when I had found out about this, and I was so heartbroken. I was so like, because when you have trauma, often you block out memories, and then you find out and it’s almost like you’re reliving the trauma for the first time. So I come home, I’m so devastated. And I’m walking in the house. And I heard the Lord say to me, there’s joy to be found. And I’m like, I kind of like, okay, I know, whatever. And I take another step. And I hear, there’s joy to be found in that. And then I’m like, Okay, now I don’t know who he was talking to. Because I know that it’s not me. And then I hear a third time, there’s joy to be found in this. And I’m just so thankful because I needed to hear it three times. And the Lord has always been so kind and gracious to me. And he doesn’t mind repeating himself. And I just break down on that third time that I’m like, How can there be joy found in this, and I remember, I put on some worship music and raise a hallelujah, by Bethel music. And there’s this part in it where he says, Now I can’t sing the song for you, you have to sing it for yourself. And I start singing in the middle of tears. I am clean, and I am whole. And I’m Clint, which in reality, and in this reality wasn’t true. I had been defiled, I had felt dirty. But God was beckoning me to partner with his reality, what his reality is, I’m clean, and I am home. And I just begin to see this over me even though I didn’t believe it. But I knew that I, in order to believe it, I had to start declaring his truth over me to combat the lives of what was around me. And so I got accepted to a private Christian College in West Palm Beach, Palm Beach, Atlantic University was, which was a miracle, because my biggest goal growing up was to work at McDonald’s, because I’m like, that’s what’s gonna get me out of this house. And then I get accepted. I graduate college, which I’m the first one out of my ancestry to like, do that. And then I get accepted to college. I’m like, Bob, that is terrible Lord and a Christian college at that. And so I go to college as a really good first year. And then my second year, I get a knee injury. And I just fall into a depression. And I don’t think at the time, I would have called it depression, because I didn’t really know too much about it. And I realize now depression was just so much of my life, that it was normal. And I get into this depression. And I’m burned out because of this belief that in order to be loved, I serve. So I served from a place of wanting love. And I would try to buy people’s love. And so I’m burned out, I get invited to a local church bow down. And remember, the first day I showed up, they literally said everything that I wanted to church was said the first day and so I’m like, Okay, Lord, this is my church. And I just get wrapped up in this community. And I am invited to do this program through my church called 516. And I pray about it. And I’m like, Okay, I’m gonna do this. And so I enter 516. And I remember thinking, and Tom the words, I poured it 516 doesn’t heal me. I don’t know what can like, I am just so broken. And I often would tell people, I’m just broken base that has been shattered, and the chars have been stepped on into this tiny little dust. And there’s no way that I can be put back together. I don’t even know if God can put me back together. And so, through this program, I started doing inner healing. And I just began to be like, things that I never thought like, I needed to heal him from like forgiveness, forgiving people. I never thought that that was possible. And I started to experience healing and breakthrough as I did this program, and the Lord started telling me from the lies that I didn’t even know that I believed.