Today’s reading of “Lost and Found in Tinseltown,” an article from the First Edition of Voice of Truth, tells the story of Tina Gallo’s step into acting and showcases God’s glory in her life.
*****
Welcome to Celebrating God’s Grace, a Women World Leaders podcast. My name is Julie Jenkins and it’s my honor today to share with you reading from Voice of Truth. Many of you know the name Tina Gallo. Tina is an award-winning actress, a best-selling author, speaker, and acting coach. She’s best known for her role as DiDi on the soap opera General Hospital. She’s the founder of the National Studio of Method Acting, and she traveled with Frank Sinatra, selling his merchandise for two and a half years. Tina is currently writing her next book, Unfiltered, and has made appearances in the Christian Broadcast Network and Daystar television, sharing her testimony of God’s faithfulness.
What you may not know about Tina is that she is currently battling an illness and she needs our prayers. Tina is fighting a yet unknown infection. And we are asking that you join us as we storm the heavens for God’s healing and provision for her.
Dear Heavenly Father, we love our sister Tina so much, but we know that you love her even more. We lift her to you today God give her strength and fuse her with your healing power as only you can. Father give her doctors wisdom as they treat her. We thank you in advance for your complete provision and protection of Tina and Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.
Well, Tina Gallo has been a huge part of Women World Leaders for several years and she’s been a writer in Voice of Truth since the very first edition. Today I’d like to read her first article, “Lost and Found in Tinseltown.” This appeared in our January 2021 edition of Voice of Truth.
The Lord plants dreams in our hearts at a very early age fearfully and wonderfully creating every detail of our lives with plans for redemption in all things, in all our ways at all times, even if we don’t profess faith in him just yet.
These dreams are like fitted garments of clothing tailored uniquely to us carefully spun and wrapped upon us, dressing us in colorful visions for the future. The desires that the Lord birthed into my life as a young girl were promises he was already planning for my future. I just didn’t know it yet.
The early age of three years old, my whole hearts vast dream was a one-way ticket to Hollywood. My tiny blueish green eyes were set upon acting and Hollywood movies firmly fixed on an ambition that seemed unobtainable, yet written in my deemed a destiny. Although the shifting sands of family instability made it seem like an impossibility, deeply embedded in my heart was the will of determination. My heart was screaming an epic dialogue. I can do this.
My mother was much younger than my dad and came from a very unstable childhood with a family of 12 brothers and sisters. Alcoholism was a vehicle of destruction that ran rampant in her family basked in constant affliction my mom and her siblings were responsible to care for one another. I have no idea if my mom knew that what ravaged her childhood would be what would ravage my own.
During my mother’s child-rearing years, she carried that same generational alcoholism right into our very home. It seemed at least once a month routinely, my mom would binge on beer until she couldn’t see straight, numbing her inner turmoil. She was running from her past into a sea of alcoholism. All the while my aching heart needed her
Are the core of my childhood yearned for a mother’s love. Stolen was my mother her absence in my life left me with words that cut deep. My tiny little heart could never comprehend why my brothers and I, her children, weren’t important enough to care for and invest in. Gnarling from the ashes of addictions, seeded lies of abandonment grew wildly into my hungry heart.
On the contrary, my dad was Italian and most of his family came from Calabria. They loved each other and were very close to one another, depicting what a stable family should look like. He did not drink alcohol except on special occasions and only then he might take a sip as a salute of goodwill. He was a good provider, a faithful dad, and I knew that he loved me.
We were raised in a nice middle-class suburban neighborhood and a lovely home with an in-ground pool. In the 1960s and early 70s, divorce was an abnormality. There certainly weren’t any families that I knew of who are divorced except mine. inwardly I longed to be cherished and nurtured the same way I saw all of the other little girls were by their moms who always seem to adore and fuss over them.
My eyes peered into the lives of my friends with desires to grasp a mother’s love such as this.
The absence of my mother harbored feelings of inadequacy that had planted its deep, ugly roots deep within the filters that I saw myself through irradiated unprocessed pain, blurring the truth as my reality now framed with lies of distorted images that were marked upon my soul.
In my teens, my dad decided to move us to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I was extremely upset because I didn’t want to go, nor did I want to leave my friends. Even though they weren’t the best crowd I was accepted and comfortable in friendships with them. Little that I know how that move would change my life and eventually put me on the path to fulfilling my Hollywood acting dream.
Internally, I was a lost soul and very skilled at putting on the right mask to hide behind when I needed to. Or so I thought. The truth is, there was a war raging inside of me between God’s truth in the devil’s lies. The Bible teaches us that the thief the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy. But Jesus came that they may have life and have it in abundance John 1010.
Daily I battled internally against the negatives that distorted my perception with an illusion of false truths. I desperately needed validation and affirmation. And mostly I was in search of simple, unconditional love.
At 18 years of age, I took a job as a cocktail waitress in Sunrise musical theater in Sunrise, Florida. Just so happened that Frank Sinatra was performing there the same weekend, I began. I was extremely excited about that. You see, as a child, I was always compared to Shirley Temple, probably because I was always performing and my hair was blonde and curly just like hers. I loved adorable Shirley, but Nancy Sinatra is who I wanted to be. So I’d put a towel on my head and make believe my hair was long. Put on my little red shimmy dress and wait, go-go boots. Hold a hairbrush in my hand as my microphone and wallah, all jazzed up. singing these boots are made to walk in.
I’d put on a show all day long for anyone who would endure and watch. Somehow as a gift for my sixth birthday. My dad arranged a phone call from Nancy Sinatra to sing happy birthday to me. I was elated. It was the most special present I’ve ever received.
The new job of waiting tables revealed a distant dream that was waiting for me. In fact, I can remember the weekend that marked the momentum of the opportunity of bright and shining lights that was coming to fruition. I was given a private table of 20 to service that evening. I did my very best as I waited on them before and after the show
Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and I was astonished at how large of a tip I received from my table. It was a great first night.
When I came back to work the next night, I was given the same table with the same exact people. I thought this was strange because who comes to the same show a second night. My manager then called me to the side to inform me that I had been waiting on Mr. Sinatra’s personal friends, and that they were so pleased with my service that they requested me as their server again, while fear and pure excitement rushed through my veins with anticipation.
Later that evening, Bobby Marks, Mr. Sinatra’s stepson, and Lester Lewis approached me and asked me if I would like to travel on the road with a Sinatra entourage to sell his merchandise before and after his shows. Well, with no hesitation, of course, I said yes. I couldn’t wait to tell my dad I knew I was about to embark on a big adventure. And maybe this was my answer to my big dream of making it as a Hollywood star.
In my mind, I thought who I knew is all that it would take.
Indeed, it was a fabulous two and a half years journeying on the road with some of the world’s best, I traveled all over, first-class, and stayed in top-notch fancy hotels.
Rapidly my new life consisted of lavish events and parties, meeting and entertaining with some of the world’s finest in the entertainment industry. Even got to thank Nancy in person for that very wonderful birthday gift so many years before, yet I wasn’t any closer to my own acting dream being fulfilled. Hungry for more I asked Mr. Sinatra’s best friend, Julie Rizzo the big question, how do I become an actress? What do I need to do?
I told him I thought getting to know all these famous people would be my ticket in. His response was, you need to go to school to study acting and find out if you have any talent kid
Who you know can help open doors but only talent will sustain.
At that time, I didn’t even know that there were schools that concentrated on teaching acting. This was all new to me. I was excited to begin researching schools and finally decided to make my move to New York City to study with some of the best teachers in the industry. Now I had a solid plan. Lights Camera Action.
I studied in acting school for years while waiting tables at night, pounding the pavement with a workload I’d been given.
Avidly I began to get some acting gigs some under five work on soap operas and landed a few commercials. When I felt I had enough experience under my belt I decided it was time to head to Los Angeles with my sights on getting a role on the most popular soap opera at the time. General Hospital. I did just that when I was offered the role of DD
So here I was, I had landed in the vision of my dreams. I had arrived despite the opposition that riddled and streamed through my life. Now I was living my dream on the mountaintop as an actress in Hollywood. I made decent money and lived in a cute little cottage right on the beach and Marina del Rey. Can’t get any better than that right.
Except the battle of unworthiness still raged inside of me, leaving an empty, gaping hole. unresolved pain still resting inwardly, and the absence of God in my life.
Nothing was ever enough. My need to seek more success only led me into a state of anxiety that was utterly discouraging and exhausting. The more I achieved, the more peace I thought I would have. Boy was I wrong. All the glitz, Glamour, wealth and famous friends didn’t have the power to change the inward war raging in my heart.
I would find myself often in the acting role, carefully putting on my Hollywood mask, giving way to another cocktail drink until I felt the uncomfortable feelings in my heart fade away. I was escaping the reality of it all, I was becoming easily swept up in the Hollywood happenings.
In the 1980s, cocaine was considered to be a glamorous drug, promising the movie industry that it would shed camera pounds and boost energy.
My heart spiraled downward into the experimental claws of cocaine, believing it may help me, too. Shallow promises swarmed the sets and scenes of the Hollywood industry all buttoned up pretty on the outside, primped and ready for the best shot, yet dying and decaying on the inside.
Everything was about outward appearances and Tinseltown and my identity was all wrapped up and what I did and what I had, if it were all taken away, I would have crumbled, glamour and glitz fashion wealth accolades, achievements, all were hidden in the masks we willingly wore to hide the prevailing laments internally.
All those feelings of shame, guilt, fear and unworthiness that I buried deep inside were pushing through harder and faster than ever to the surface of my soul. The lens I was seeing through was marred by all the acting to muddle to see through any more, filtering the lies through the beauty of the world. My days were doomed to be derailed. Lies of constant approval and rejection flooded me continually igniting more and more downward spirals. In circling me the lies spoke over and over on the movie reel that I often listened to, you’re only as good as your last show. You don’t have the right look for the part. You’re too heavy, too small, too short, too tall. You didn’t get the audition, we need someone with more credits, and so on.
I needed a new lens to focus through. One that wasn’t distorted by the lies that caused me to have a constant need for approval from people.
The Lord had a better plan for my life and he does for you too. God tells us in His Word, I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope, and a future. (Jeremiah 2911, NIV)
He was going to provide me with a new lens illuminated by truth and bring me out of confusion into clarity. Zooming into his heart, I had no knowledge that a few people were praying for me. I was raised Catholic and believed in God, but I never really had a true personal relationship with him. And honestly, didn’t know that I could.
There were intercessors crying out for my very life. I couldn’t remember vividly when I was awakened to the fact that I was surrounded by Christians. Everywhere I turned God would place another one before me that one day I received a card from a distant aunt who mentioned that she saw me on TV and gave me a lovely compliment. She signed the card. God bless you. Aunt Frannie
I’ve heard those words my whole life but this time, there was life in them. God bless you. It jumped right off the page and pierced into my heart. Those words ignited a spark of hope in me like never before. I was searching for something solid and I wanted answers. I dabbled in some new age and read Shirley MacLaine and the power of positive thinking books which always left me feeling just as empty and lost as I was before reading them. After all, if I’m a God with all this power in me, which is the basis of their teaching, then I’m really in trouble. The application of this teaching was draining self-centered and made no sense to me.
Thankfully, it didn’t bear witness to my spirit. I always knew that God was my Creator and He was so much more powerful and larger than I was.
Depression was crushing me and I walked around with sadness wrapped inward. Grasping for newfound freedom. The tyranny of Tinseltown left me thinking I had everything that everyone else would want fame, fortune, acting and outward beauty. But none of it brought true joy.
When my contract came to an end, I decided to head back home to my dad’s to take a break and process some things.
One night while I was wrestling to sleep, I turned on the TV. There was an actress talking on a show and sharing about her relationship with God and all that he had done in her life.
There I was in the literal and spiritual dark, wrapped up in a throw blanket intently listening to every word hanging from this woman’s testimony. I wanted what she had.
When they put the number up on the screen to call for prayer. I started dialing, my fingers moved before I could even process what was happening. An hour passed, and I was about to hang up the phone when a gentleman answered. His trusting, soothing and compassionate voice led me into a prayer to accept Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior.
I was now a born-again Christian, saved by grace and by making a phone call to the 700 Club hallelujah. What God did that night was a miracle.
The next morning I woke up with an unexplained joy and renewed hope. I was on fire and hungry to learn about God, His teachings and all the things that the actress was talking about the night before. I was a new creature in Christ with a passionate desire to be deeply rooted in him.
I knew I finally had the answer to what I so desperately was searching for. And I was ready for the journey. My dear sisters, God has a plan for each of us. He wants us to prosper, and he wants to give us an abundant life.
We must come out of hiding behind our own masks that we cower under, we must come forward from our own acting and pretending to truly receive what He has for us, adjusting and repositioning our lenses to focus on Jesus, not ourselves.
When we seek His plan for our lives and not ours, we will find real peace and true contentment.
The Lord gives us the gifts and the talents we need to fulfill our purpose in him. We are called to serve and bring glory to Him. We learn in his word to delight ourselves in the Lord. And He will give us the desires of our hearts, Psalm 37:4 NIV.
You see, through so much of my story, the Lord was pursuing me and leading me even when I wasn’t following him. He allowed me to taste the riches of success. So I can see clearly the things of this world that will never satisfy my appetite
When we wholeheartedly seek the Lord and His will for us. He cultivates our understanding and guides the way for us to see through a lens of truth that will provide us clarity and direction. Ultimately bringing us into a life of freedom, whom the sun sets free is free indeed. John 8:36, NIV
My acting days are not over or wasted or lost. I now use all the preparatory gifts, talents and treasures for His glory. I get to act in love in purity, and in truth in the movies for him now.
All is redeemed and his hope carries me forward into Victory. Join me in imitating Christ, the star of the show, the center stage of our lives.